"Can I Get an Amen!?"

So it has, once again, been a long-ass time since I posted. So long that I now have a tablet, and an app to post with. Get me.

It occurred to me the other day that I really have alot more to say than I actually end up saying, and that's not just limited to the online world. My opinions may not be popular or by any means correct, but I've often gone with the more tactful approach of just keeping my opinions to myself. It makes life more smooth. More tolerable. Easier to mop up.

I am considerinng re-applying to the cinema for work. Now for the past year I have been yo-yoing between England and Sweden for work at ridiculous-per-hour and that included a metric sausage-ton of travel, most of it by coach or train. Now I know what you're thinking, just fly, but for me its not that simple. Ever since a dodgy experience back in 2000 I've had a problem with flying. If I force myself I will get on a plane and fly, but not before sleep deprivation and possibly anti-anxiety medication do their work to help me sleep. Call it a phobia if you want, it is what it is, but due to that, its mainly been coach and train, which is long haul either way. Coach is hell however you slice it, especially if you are sat near an old English woman who is spitting abuse at everyone sat around her purely because she must have some form of social disorder. I've now been to Hamburg four times, and the first time, the time that woman got off the coach, was like watching Shawshank all over again. Uplifting, heartwarming and with a happy ending. All it needed was Morgan Freeman.

Anyway, my point is this. I have had enough of travel, and to a degree, wiring. I've met alot of good people in Sweden.  Pontus, Par, Magnus and Erik to name but a few, and had some great times at work. The problem I have is the lifestyle. When it comes to work I like routine. I like to know when and where I'm working, and I don't just mean what I'm doing any particular day. Being self-employed you're always worrying where the next job is going to come from, and that's a kind of insecurity I can't deal with on such a regular basis. Not only that, wiring takes you abroad alot, because the better wages are abroad. I like home. I have alot of my friends here, and a core group of them are a big part of my life. To take that element out sort of renders life meaningless. The day to day becomes simply that, without any mental stimulus, and that's not an easy existence to cope with. So, if I can get back to the cinema, back to a familiar work pattern, I might try. It'd certainly be awesome to get the free films again.

So, without any further ramblings, here's today's offering.

Deep Blue Sea.

I got rid of my DVD copy of this a LONG time ago, before I got rid of my DVD collection (more on that next time), and I remember thinking 'I barely watch this, and the case is one of those rubbish card ones, so I won't miss it.' It wasn't until I saw the blu-ray on offer in HMV (who survived, thankfully) that I decided to give it another go.

Plot - Scientists researching Alzheimer's cure unwittingly unleash super-smart killer sharks. Stellan Skarsgard pisses into the wind. Game on.

Now I love a good shark movie. There aren't enough of them around. Shark Night, although funny, was a bit poor, and I've not seen Jaws in years. There have been others, but none have really encapsulated the fear factor that Jaws originated in sharks, which is a shame. There is potential there if the script is smart enough. Hell, maybe a future project, why not. Anyway, Deep Blue Sea tries to go back to that Shark fear factor.

I will say this now, in terms of story, this film is a bit low. But come on, killer sharks, a politically incorrect parrot, and Samuel L. Mothaf@#king Jackson as a company director who survived an avalanche by killing and probably eating fellow climbers? What is not to love. This film may lack in credible explanations for half the stuff that goes on, such as sharks swimming backwards, fitting through doorways, and knowing how to bring down a rescue helicopter. But while you're watching it, you don't care. Deep Blue Sea has enough going for it to keep its audience entertained regardless. It's got that fear factor of sharks in the water with humans, which hasn't been replicated as effectively since. Shark Night tried and nearly got it, and Piranha was ridiculously funny but didn't come close. Deep Blue Sea may not be in the IMDb top 250, but it got onto my blu-ray shelf before most of them.

Rating - 7

"It's Safer to Teach You English!"

Oddly enough, it took me a good ten minutes looking for a quote even remotely un-serious for this one, and thats all I could find. This should be interesting.

So, I'm currently sitting in the Post-graduate area (oooh get me) in the library at Uni. There is really nothing special about it, aside from perhaps a little more elbow room either side. Shows how much Solent truly appreciate those who have survived the first three years and don't have the common sense to go somewhere better. That and somehow we have to find an extra £3500 for the privilege.

Anyway, it dawned on me the other day that I hadn't spoken to my old cohort of bitterness Greeners in a long while, so I shall hopefully be heading up to Newbury for a pint and such larks at some point. Be nice to catch up.

Anyway, Next!

2. The Godfather

I can never, ever get tired of this movie. I think there are only a few films in existence that can hold my attention and entertain me enough for me to say that.

You all know the story - Ageing crime boss Vito Corleone, through various circumstances both under and not under his control, leaves his empire to his youngest son, Michael.

Where the hell do I begin?

For me, this film has it all. Romance, comedy, action, drama in metric fucktons. It's wonderfully well paced, with the violence coming in short, sharp bursts, with the tension building between each set piece. There is no-one out of place in terms of cast - aside from perhaps the undertaker at the start, even though his opening lines set the scene for an awesome opening sequence.

My opinion of this movie harks back to something I once thought about after watching (or more accurately, enduring) 2001: A Space Odyssey. After sitting through that for god knows how long, I had a thought. '2001' and The Godfather were released only 4 years apart. Now both are hailed as classics (according to the IMDb top 250, The Godfather a darn sight more), yet for the life of me I can watch The Godfather at least twice a day, and I can barely stand the first 20 minutes of '2001'. Says alot about how well or not films age, doesn't it?

I can offer no praise of this film that hasn't been done to death by anyone and everyone since the seventies. All I can really do is something I hate doing to films I thoroughly enjoy, and that's find flaws in them. Firstly, as I've said, the undertaker. I completely understand his role in everything. He's there to dispel every preconception we believe regarding typical mafia behaviour. He asks Vito to kill - he says no. He's then asked for a favour - to clean a body for a funeral. He just irritates me for some reason. Probably because he's meant to, as his request for murder irritates the Don. Just not as comfortable with his presence as I am with the rest of the film.

I think the only other thing I have a problem with is the diner scene, in particular Sollozzo. Again, this is me being exceedingly picky, but I'd have put subtitles over the Italian to give us an idea of what Sollozzo is trying to do by speaking to Michael in public. It's a little confusing and takes a little away from what is still a classic scene, just would have tweaked it a little in post production. Means all those who speak Italian out there have an advantage over us. Damn you Macina!

Anyway, The Godfather. Classic. Next up. Take a Guess.